Precious in the sight of the Lord...

My friend died this morning. He was an 88-year-old, African-American, retired pastor who lived in a nearby nursing home. I've visited him many times over these past few years. Tuesdays and Fridays used to be his day of fasting and prayer: no food or water until about 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon.

Several years ago I started going to visit him over lunch time on Tuesday so we could pray together. I really enjoyed our times of prayer, and I know that those times were very, very, special to him.

Some people probably would have wondered what an old, African-American, retired Pastor, would have in common with a young, Caucasian man. It was our bond in the Lord Jesus Christ. And I really did love him!

The greatest grief to this man was his family. It was a mess. He had been married and divorced several times. He had quite a few children, and he was concerned that some of them weren't even saved. The family relationships were really bad. The nursing home actually had restraining orders against a number of his children so that they could not go to the nursing home unless it was a supervised visit (and I believe that would have been too humbling for the children to have submitted to, so they just stayed away).

I was not surprised at some of the challenges in his family, as I saw some of his own struggles with the flesh. He struggled with his temper, and it was a powerful lesson to me that I (who also at times struggle with my temper) CANNOT allow sin into my life. It cannot be tolerated… He even had difficulty getting along with some of the others at the nursing home (almost coming to blows at times?!?). Eventually the nursing home had him medicated, and I saw his personality shift. One of the administrators at the nursing home asked me to document my visits with him because his family didn't visit him and the nursing home needed to show that he was having social contacts. Through the reports they were able to adjust the medication so that his personality was more normal.

Back in 2007 he almost died. I remember visiting him at the ICU and praying with him. We talked about how short our time on earth is and what a blessing it'll be to be with the Lord. I asked him about when his father died, and he shared that it was really hard for him when his dad died. He never was able to say goodbye or hear any final word from his father. When I heard him say that I asked if he would like to leave any last words or testimony for his children. He was thrilled with the idea. He then dictated a two-page testimony to me (it was hard as he would lose his train of thought at different times, and it's hard to write as someone else dictates - but we got it done!).

He wanted 11 copies printed out so that each of his children could have a copy. I was hoping he would recover enough to be able to sign them, and during one of my visits a few months after he had been in the ICU (but was then back in the nursing home) he was able to sign one of them. But it was very difficult for him, and he wasn't able to sign any others. I then took and scanned that signature and printed it on the other 10 copies of his testimony. I sealed the 11 copies in a manila envelope, included a cover letter, and gave it to the nursing home and wrote with a black marker on the outside saying that the envelope contained his last testimony and was to be opened and read at his funeral. (whether it was read at the funeral, I don't know; I didn't feel safe attending it because of the family "drama")

As a side note, I would encourage any Christian who is concerned for the salvation of others to write out something to be read at their funeral, or to record a video that can be played at their funeral. What an incredible opportunity to directly share the gospel with others.

His health had been declining, and he almost died on a Thursday evening. I knew he had been sick and visited him (praying and sharing Scripture as always). I visited again on Friday and he was doing a little bit better. I visited him several times on Saturday and he was improving more. On Sunday my family sang Amazing Grace for him and he was alert enough to sign along with us. He talked about wanting some fried chicken. I wondered if he was going to pull through.

Monday morning I was having my devotion when the phone rang. His daughter was calling. The nursing home had notified her that her father was failing. She was about an hour away and wanted to let me know. I got in my car and drove to the nursing home.

He was unresponsive, his eyes were closed, and he was barely breathing. I knew this would be the last time I would pray with him and read Scripture to him. I got choked up as I tried to read. I started reading Psalm 116 to him, talking about the different verses as I read. Every now and then he would take a shallow breath and then be completely silent for a period of time.

I read down through verse 14 and paused when a hospice nurse came into the room. She tried to take his blood pressure but couldn't get a reading. She then used her stethoscope. She looked up and quietly said, "I can't find a heartbeat, it looks like he's gone."

The next verse I was going to read was verse 15: precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.