My friend died this morning. He was an 88-year-old, African-American, retired pastor who lived in a nearby nursing home. I've visited him many times over these past few years. Tuesdays and Fridays used to be his day of fasting and prayer: no food or water until about 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon.
Several years ago I started going to visit him over lunch time on Tuesday so we could pray together. I really enjoyed our times of prayer, and I know that those times were very, very, special to him.
Some people probably would have wondered what an old, African-American, retired Pastor, would have in common with a young, Caucasian man. It was our bond in the Lord Jesus Christ. And I really did love him!
The greatest grief to this man was his family. It was a mess. He had been married and divorced several times. He had quite a few children, and he was concerned that some of them weren't even saved. The family relationships were really bad. The nursing home actually had restraining orders against a number of his children so that they could not go to the nursing home unless it was a supervised visit (and I believe that would have been too humbling for the children to have submitted to, so they just stayed away).
I was not surprised at some of the challenges in his family, as I saw some of his own struggles with the flesh. He struggled with his temper, and it was a powerful lesson to me that I (who also at times struggle with my temper) CANNOT allow sin into my life. It cannot be tolerated… He even had difficulty getting along with some of the others at the nursing home (almost coming to blows at times?!?). Eventually the nursing home had him medicated, and I saw his personality shift. One of the administrators at the nursing home asked me to document my visits with him because his family didn't visit him and the nursing home needed to show that he was having social contacts. Through the reports they were able to adjust the medication so that his personality was more normal.
Back in 2007 he almost died. I remember visiting him at the ICU and praying with him. We talked about how short our time on earth is and what a blessing it'll be to be with the Lord. I asked him about when his father died, and he shared that it was really hard for him when his dad died. He never was able to say goodbye or hear any final word from his father. When I heard him say that I asked if he would like to leave any last words or testimony for his children. He was thrilled with the idea. He then dictated a two-page testimony to me (it was hard as he would lose his train of thought at different times, and it's hard to write as someone else dictates - but we got it done!).
He wanted 11 copies printed out so that each of his children could have a copy. I was hoping he would recover enough to be able to sign them, and during one of my visits a few months after he had been in the ICU (but was then back in the nursing home) he was able to sign one of them. But it was very difficult for him, and he wasn't able to sign any others. I then took and scanned that signature and printed it on the other 10 copies of his testimony. I sealed the 11 copies in a manila envelope, included a cover letter, and gave it to the nursing home and wrote with a black marker on the outside saying that the envelope contained his last testimony and was to be opened and read at his funeral. (whether it was read at the funeral, I don't know; I didn't feel safe attending it because of the family "drama")
As a side note, I would encourage any Christian who is concerned for the salvation of others to write out something to be read at their funeral, or to record a video that can be played at their funeral. What an incredible opportunity to directly share the gospel with others.
His health had been declining, and he almost died on a Thursday evening. I knew he had been sick and visited him (praying and sharing Scripture as always). I visited again on Friday and he was doing a little bit better. I visited him several times on Saturday and he was improving more. On Sunday my family sang Amazing Grace for him and he was alert enough to sign along with us. He talked about wanting some fried chicken. I wondered if he was going to pull through.
Monday morning I was having my devotion when the phone rang. His daughter was calling. The nursing home had notified her that her father was failing. She was about an hour away and wanted to let me know. I got in my car and drove to the nursing home.
He was unresponsive, his eyes were closed, and he was barely breathing. I knew this would be the last time I would pray with him and read Scripture to him. I got choked up as I tried to read. I started reading Psalm 116 to him, talking about the different verses as I read. Every now and then he would take a shallow breath and then be completely silent for a period of time.
I read down through verse 14 and paused when a hospice nurse came into the room. She tried to take his blood pressure but couldn't get a reading. She then used her stethoscope. She looked up and quietly said, "I can't find a heartbeat, it looks like he's gone."
The next verse I was going to read was verse 15: precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Sharing with another barber...
I've had several blog posts that I've wanted to make over the past few weeks and simply haven't made the time, but I'm hoping to make a few of them over the next week or two.
About three weeks ago I got my hair cut. The barber is a friendly fellow in his 60's. He works on a walk-in basis, so you never know who else will be there while you're having your hair cut. He and I have talked about spiritual things briefly in the past, but I had never had the opportunity (or taken advantage of an opportunity) to really share with him.
I've been praying that God will give me an opportunity to share with this barber, and I was especially hoping it would work out this latest time because I will probably be needing to use a different barber for a period of time (long story why).
As the barber was cutting my hair we talked about a lot of topics, including the death of his neighbor. The man was in his 50's, and was the barber's favorite neighbor. The visitation was the next day and would be followed by the funeral.
As we were talking about death the haircut was being finished up, and no one else had shown up. I was really glad that no one else had shown up (I can only recall one other time in the past few years that there has been no one after me), and after I had paid I tied the death into spiritual things. I said we had talked about a lot of things over the past few years, but something I really like talking about with people is their soul.
I asked him if he believed in a God, and he did (I normally don't start witnessing with such a question…). I asked if he believed in heaven and hell, and he did. I asked if he would be OK if I shared with him a little while, and he said "sure". I know he is a nominal Catholic, and I asked if he believed in the Bible, and he said that he did.
I gently brought up the commandments and we talked about a few of those, and he was open enough to admit that he had broken the commandments. After sharing about those and what the Bible says the consequence for our sin is, I asked him if he knew what the Bible says can be done for someone who is deserving of hell so that they can be saved from such a demise. He said he had no idea, but was open to me sharing with him.
I prefaced what I was going to share by saying that there are too many people taking other people's words for what the Bible says. I encouraged him to double-check everything that I shared with him so he could see for himself.
I shared the story of my grandfather's auto accident and the time that he paid the fine for the guilty driver. I used analogies from the legal system to show what salvation isn't:
- I've confessed my sin
- I'm living a much better life
- My good works will offset my bad ones
- I'm doing good things for God
- God is going to overlook our sin and just forgive us all
And then I went down the Romans road. My goal was to clearly explain what the Bible says about salvation, and all the while encouraging him to repent and place his faith in Jesus, and Jesus alone.
I told him that I felt my responsibility was to share with him, but that (obviously) the final decision was simply between him and God. He could choose to reject the free offer of salvation, or he could repent and turn to Christ.
At one point I shared what Jesus told Nicodemus: you must be born again if you want to see the kingdom of Heaven. I said that I didn't think he was born again, and then specifically asked him if he was born again: he said he wasn't.
We probably talked (with me doing most of the talking - but he was truly listening and was participating in the conversation) for about 20 minutes after the hair cut, and in that time no one else came in. Towards the end of that time I asked if I could pray for him, and he nervously laughed and asked, "Why? Do I look like I need it?" I said that we all do, but he was not comfortable allowing me to pray for him right then.
I strongly encouraged him to be reading his Bible, and to pray and ask God to reveal Himself to him. I suggested he read in the book of John, and that he pray and ask God to show him what it means to be born again.
I left the barber shop that day rejoicing in the opportunity that God gave me. I had really wanted an opportunity to share with him, and was so grateful that he was receptive and would listen.
And since then I've been praying for him every day that the Holy Spirit will work in his heart...
About three weeks ago I got my hair cut. The barber is a friendly fellow in his 60's. He works on a walk-in basis, so you never know who else will be there while you're having your hair cut. He and I have talked about spiritual things briefly in the past, but I had never had the opportunity (or taken advantage of an opportunity) to really share with him.
I've been praying that God will give me an opportunity to share with this barber, and I was especially hoping it would work out this latest time because I will probably be needing to use a different barber for a period of time (long story why).
As the barber was cutting my hair we talked about a lot of topics, including the death of his neighbor. The man was in his 50's, and was the barber's favorite neighbor. The visitation was the next day and would be followed by the funeral.
As we were talking about death the haircut was being finished up, and no one else had shown up. I was really glad that no one else had shown up (I can only recall one other time in the past few years that there has been no one after me), and after I had paid I tied the death into spiritual things. I said we had talked about a lot of things over the past few years, but something I really like talking about with people is their soul.
I asked him if he believed in a God, and he did (I normally don't start witnessing with such a question…). I asked if he believed in heaven and hell, and he did. I asked if he would be OK if I shared with him a little while, and he said "sure". I know he is a nominal Catholic, and I asked if he believed in the Bible, and he said that he did.
I gently brought up the commandments and we talked about a few of those, and he was open enough to admit that he had broken the commandments. After sharing about those and what the Bible says the consequence for our sin is, I asked him if he knew what the Bible says can be done for someone who is deserving of hell so that they can be saved from such a demise. He said he had no idea, but was open to me sharing with him.
I prefaced what I was going to share by saying that there are too many people taking other people's words for what the Bible says. I encouraged him to double-check everything that I shared with him so he could see for himself.
I shared the story of my grandfather's auto accident and the time that he paid the fine for the guilty driver. I used analogies from the legal system to show what salvation isn't:
- I've confessed my sin
- I'm living a much better life
- My good works will offset my bad ones
- I'm doing good things for God
- God is going to overlook our sin and just forgive us all
And then I went down the Romans road. My goal was to clearly explain what the Bible says about salvation, and all the while encouraging him to repent and place his faith in Jesus, and Jesus alone.
I told him that I felt my responsibility was to share with him, but that (obviously) the final decision was simply between him and God. He could choose to reject the free offer of salvation, or he could repent and turn to Christ.
At one point I shared what Jesus told Nicodemus: you must be born again if you want to see the kingdom of Heaven. I said that I didn't think he was born again, and then specifically asked him if he was born again: he said he wasn't.
We probably talked (with me doing most of the talking - but he was truly listening and was participating in the conversation) for about 20 minutes after the hair cut, and in that time no one else came in. Towards the end of that time I asked if I could pray for him, and he nervously laughed and asked, "Why? Do I look like I need it?" I said that we all do, but he was not comfortable allowing me to pray for him right then.
I strongly encouraged him to be reading his Bible, and to pray and ask God to reveal Himself to him. I suggested he read in the book of John, and that he pray and ask God to show him what it means to be born again.
I left the barber shop that day rejoicing in the opportunity that God gave me. I had really wanted an opportunity to share with him, and was so grateful that he was receptive and would listen.
And since then I've been praying for him every day that the Holy Spirit will work in his heart...
Saturday, January 16, 2010
The Pregnancy Test
Last week I was at a church located in a different state. The church had a real heart for reaching the lost, and I had even noticed a sign out front of the church that said "Free Pregnancy Test" with an arrow pointing in a door.
The evening service was going to be starting in about an hour or so, and I was visiting with the Pastor and a few others. Right then someone walked up and said, "Pastor, there is a very young couple here who would like a pregnancy test." The Pastor said that all of the regular volunteers were already gone (they usually take the sign in when they leave) and he also called his wife: she wasn't available to come to the church right then. The Pastor asked a few of the ladies who were standing there if they would be willing to help the young lady with the pregnancy test, and he said to make sure they also shared the gospel with her. He said it works best to separate the couple (even though it can be hard for the couple to be apart), and that someone else could spend some time talking with the young man. No one was readily volunteering (there weren't many others around), so I said that I would.
We went inside and found a very young couple (she was 17 and he was 18) who were nervously waiting in the hallway. We introduced ourselves and the young man and I went into a side room and sit down to visit for awhile. We started with some small talk (backgrounds, current jobs, family info, churches, etc.) and then I transitioned into spiritual things.
He attends a local "church", but it's not a Bible-believing or Bible-preaching church. He is going through the process to join the church. When I asked what he believes a person can, or must do, in order to spend an eternity in heaven, he wasn't sure. Perhaps confess his sin and pray?
For the next 15 minutes we had time to simply talk about salvation and review God's Word. I didn't press him to make a decision as it didn't seem he was under any conviction (no signs of repentance), and the last thing I would want to do is encourage someone to say a prayer, and then slap him on the back and say "You're saved!"
Eventually the ladies walked into the room and the conversation immediately ended; obviously, he (and his girlfriend) were there for a reason, and he hadn't forgotten the reason.
The pressure of the situation that God was using in this young man's life was diffused by the results of the test.
As I've thought back to that time I've though of a number of things that I probably should have shared with him or talked directly about. But the whole time I was talking with him I had been crying out to the Lord wanting Him to direct the conversation – so I rest in Him, that despite my weakness in being a "rookie" in such a sharing situation, may He use what was shared. And, looking back, I'm so grateful for the opportunity the Lord gave to share with him, and I hope and pray that he thinks about the verses in God's Word that we looked at.
The evening service was going to be starting in about an hour or so, and I was visiting with the Pastor and a few others. Right then someone walked up and said, "Pastor, there is a very young couple here who would like a pregnancy test." The Pastor said that all of the regular volunteers were already gone (they usually take the sign in when they leave) and he also called his wife: she wasn't available to come to the church right then. The Pastor asked a few of the ladies who were standing there if they would be willing to help the young lady with the pregnancy test, and he said to make sure they also shared the gospel with her. He said it works best to separate the couple (even though it can be hard for the couple to be apart), and that someone else could spend some time talking with the young man. No one was readily volunteering (there weren't many others around), so I said that I would.
We went inside and found a very young couple (she was 17 and he was 18) who were nervously waiting in the hallway. We introduced ourselves and the young man and I went into a side room and sit down to visit for awhile. We started with some small talk (backgrounds, current jobs, family info, churches, etc.) and then I transitioned into spiritual things.
He attends a local "church", but it's not a Bible-believing or Bible-preaching church. He is going through the process to join the church. When I asked what he believes a person can, or must do, in order to spend an eternity in heaven, he wasn't sure. Perhaps confess his sin and pray?
For the next 15 minutes we had time to simply talk about salvation and review God's Word. I didn't press him to make a decision as it didn't seem he was under any conviction (no signs of repentance), and the last thing I would want to do is encourage someone to say a prayer, and then slap him on the back and say "You're saved!"
Eventually the ladies walked into the room and the conversation immediately ended; obviously, he (and his girlfriend) were there for a reason, and he hadn't forgotten the reason.
The pressure of the situation that God was using in this young man's life was diffused by the results of the test.
As I've thought back to that time I've though of a number of things that I probably should have shared with him or talked directly about. But the whole time I was talking with him I had been crying out to the Lord wanting Him to direct the conversation – so I rest in Him, that despite my weakness in being a "rookie" in such a sharing situation, may He use what was shared. And, looking back, I'm so grateful for the opportunity the Lord gave to share with him, and I hope and pray that he thinks about the verses in God's Word that we looked at.
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